Last Hope
by TwoSwallows
Summary: What if Rose and Adrian did have sex in Spirit Bound? What if that deed haunts Rose for a very long time, even after she simply did forgot that night? What will be the consequences and the impact on her life? Takes place right after The Last Sacrifice!
1. Chapter 1

**What if Rose and Adrian did have sex in _Spirit Bound_? What if that deed haunts Rose for a very long time, even after she simply did forgot that night? What will be the consequences and the impact on her life?**

 **Takes place right after _The Last Sacrifice_!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

It was in the middle of the night. Or day, if you were a normal person and lived right in the sunlight.

My stomach felt heavy and I felt nauseous. Still sleepy, I tried to move under the sheets and hoped that it would soon pass.

Instead, it got worse.

I tossed the sheets off me and ran like crazy to the bath room. It was really disgusting. I was shaking on my legs. Sweat dripped along my temples.

When the feeling waned, I sank on the ground. The cold bathroom tiles were perfect. It felt good against my hot skin.

A sudden knock on the bathroom door made me jump.

"Roza?" Are you okay?"

It was the voice of the love of my life. I brought him back from the land of the undead. When all hope was gone, I was the one who didn't give up.

Dimitri Belikov.

Quickly I scanned my reflection in the mirror. Dark brown eyes just stared back at me, looking bewildered underneath a pile of disheveled brown curls. My eyes were almost bloodshot and my skin was pale.

I tried to model the hair, but gave up. It was hopeless and besides, Dimitri had seen worse.

Slowly I opened the door.

"Are you alright, Roza?" There was nothing but concern in his beautiful light brown eyes.

"Still alive, comrade." I tried to smile.

Dimitri didn't believe it. "This is the third night in a row, Rose. What is going on?"

"Nothing. Just queasy," I replied. My stomach was still not fully under control, but I tried to ignore it. Just like I did the past two nights.

Dimitri took my hand and lead me to the bed. "Did you already visit the doctor, Rose?" His voice was stingy calm.

I didn't make eye contact. I promised him yesterday that I would visit Doctor Merovi, but I didn't.

My fingers were playing with each other. "Not yet," I confessed.

"Rose..."

"I was busy with Lissa, okay?" I said, with a voice louder than normal. I was just so pissed lately. "I totally forgot."

Lissa was my oldest friend in this world. She was also Queen Vasilissa Dragomir, the Queen of the Moroi and dhampirs. I had swore to protect her with my life and had nearly dead by doing that. It wasn't a bad death. I would do it all over again, if necessary.

"You forgot about your sickness?" Dimitiri asked, still with this irritating calm voice. It drove me wild.

For some insanely ludicrously reason, I started to cry.

Me, Rosemarie Hathaway, one of the most respected Guardians, started to whine like a little baby, just because her boyfriend indirectly accused her of not going to the doctor.

The eyes of Dimitri widened. He had never seen anything like this. I never cried. Not like that.

"I just did, okay?" I stuttered. "It is nothing. It will pass. Just ate too much the past few days."

That was indeed true. It was like my appetite had grown after Tasha shot me and I survived. Like I was eating for a dinosaur or something.

Dimitri sat beside me, wiping away the tears.

"Sht, Roza, it's okay." He took me in his arms and cradled me like a little baby.

I felt how my body relaxed. The tears rolled slowly down my cheek, while I let my head rest against Dimitri's chest.

When I was fully calmly, Dimitri stood up. He took my robe and placed it carefully over my shoulders.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused.

"Taking you to Doctor Merovi. It scares me. Rose. You're sick and you're crying. That's just not normal."

His firm hand indicated that he would not accept any struggle from me.

Well, too bad, Comrade.

"Dimitri, no," I protested. "It is in the middle of the night," I hissed. I tried to break free without turning it into a fight – Dimitri was the one who trained me in high school – and without making a scene. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Than there's no problem. If you're fine, the doctor will say it to and there is nothing to worry about." There was a smile in his voice.

"Comrade, no. Don't make me hurt you."

"Roza, if I didn't know you better, I would say you were afraid of Doctor Merovi."

Yep definitely a smirk in that voice. My anger welded up. My pride sniffed.

"I'm not afraid of Doctor Merovi," I said stiff.

"Show me."

I stopped with the lame attempts of trying to get out of his grip and walked beside him.

"Happy now?" I asked coldly.

"Very." Dimitri took my hand and lead me to the office of Doctor Merovi, the doctor on court.


	2. Chapter 2

**Guys, thank you so much for the reviews! I'm so happy right now (I started this Friday with reading the books and yesterday I finished _Last Sacrifice_ , so I'm really addicted to this story haha). Owkey, it's doctor's time!**

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 **Chapter 2**

Doctor Merovi looked up when Dimitri practically dragged me into his study.

"Rosemarie? Dimitri?" He stared over his glasses – which I knew where mainly for the show, since Moroi did not have things like bad eyesight or other sissy things – and took us in.

Doctor Merovi was Lissa's own private doctor. He was somewhere mid-thirties, with pale hair and crystal blue eyes and of course, fangs. I knew him all to well, since I was something like a regular customer of his services. The perks of being a Guardian of the Queen and training way too much in your spare time.

Dimitri Belikov, a Guardian example in his black pants, white T-shirt and neat ponytail and Rose Hathaway, a Guardian mess in an old, oversized Green Day shirt (I bought it like ten sizes to big because my size was sold out on the concert), a chequered robe and hair that looked like a bird had decided to build its nest there, was not the couple you were expecting in the middle of the night, while the whole court was asleep.

"What have you two done this time?" Merovi asked amused.

My cheeks started to feel way too hot.

Last time we both ended up in this office because we didn't agree on the – yeah, on what exactly? I wondered. Nevermind, we got into a intense fight and I accidentally broke Dimitri's nose while he bruised my ankle. Again.

Dimitri's eyes started to glint. "She's sick."

My jaw fell open. "I just ate too much, that's all," I defended myself quickly.

"That's nothing new," Dimitri muttered under his breath. I kicked him against his shin. Angrily I stated that he even didn't flinch. Argh.

"What's the problem exactly?" asked Merovi, while he rested his chin on his fingers and started to examine me.

"Nauseous, throwing up, fits of crying," Dimitri summed up.

"I do not have fits of crying!" I screamed. "Doctor, he is just overreacting!"

"Rose, five minutes ago you were crying because I accused of not going to the doctor. That's a fit of crying. She is also having mood swings and a larger appetite than normal," he continued.

I stamped my foot. "Dimitri, you are being a pain in the ass."

With horror I notices that my lips started to shake. Oh no, not again! Damnit!

"I am not going to cry," I gritted through my teeth. "Dimitri, I want to sleep. Now. Or Doctor Merovi will have to check your head because I just planted my fist into your stupid brain."

Dimitri just looked at me, with concern in his eyes. He was convinced of the fact that I really was sick.

That was it. The anxiety upon his face made me realize how much Dimitri cared about me. My feelings started to shift and to shake in my body.

He never stopped loving me. He would do anything for me. Right now, he was so concerned about me that he took everything seriously. He never stated that I was clowning around, pretending to be sick or just throwing fits like a spoiled bitch.

He really thought something serious was going on with me. That I was really sick. That he would take care for me, cause that's what he did.

Tears were rolling down my cheek and I snorted. Vaguely I was aware of the fact that Doctor Merovi looked at me with intense observation.

"Owkey, it's true," I mixed. "I'm lately nauseous and I'm feeling in and out of touch."

I felt Dimitri's hands upon my shoulders as he slowly and softly pushed me into the chair before Merovi's desk.

"Since when did the sickness started?" Merovi leaned forward.

"I do not know. Some time, I think. I thought it was a side effect of the shooting..." My voice faltered.

"The vomiting began just this week." Dimitri squeezed heartwarming my hand.

The doctor looked from me to Dimitri, and back. I saw that he was thinking deep.

"When did the mood swings started?"

A long silence fell. I was thinking deep. Really deep.

The truth was that I always had mood swings. I was just this person who had a lot going on, considering I had had a bound with Lissa as her shadow-kissed. I took away her negative influences she got from the use of spirit, leaving me mixed up in my own feelings.

But after Tasha shot me, the bound with Lissa had fallen away. I had survived on my own, lingered toward the land of the dead, but got away trusting upon my own strength. The healing process developed slowly, but after a few weeks I felt quite myself again.

Merovi was looking deeply at me. His index fingers tapped against each other while he was working out a possible theory he could examine;

After careful consideration he opened his mouth.

"Dimitri, I have to ask you to wait outside while I examine Rosemarie further."

Wait, what?

Did Merovi really just asked Dimitri to leave me? My head popped up and I saw how Dimitri didn't even question the doctor.

The bastard was really leaving me.

"Don't worry, Roza. I'll be just outside, waiting for you."

Speechless I watched how he left the office, till the door fell close.

"Why did you do that?" I snapped at Doctor Merovi. "Why did Dimitri had to leave? He's the one who brought me!"

Doctor Merovi didn't looked me in the eyes. "Because this is a private conversation. And it isn't about him, it's about you."

I crossed my arms and stared at him coldly.

"I still don't see why Dimitri cannot know this."

Doctor Merovi stood up. "Follow me, Rosemarie. I want to examine this situation closer."

Reluctantly I followed him. "This situation? What are you talking about?"

"I have some options that may have caused your sickness, especially at this time. But before I'm going to state the cause, I want to be sure."

He gestured I'd sit down. "Please take of your shirt."

With aversion I removed my shirt, happy that I wore a normal brief underneath it, nothing too sexy. Good thing Dimitri was working late night shifts and I was still so exhausted.

He examined my tummy, listened very closely to it with his stethoscope – I had no idea what the purpose was of it – and started to ask me more question. What have I been eating? How long did I sleep during the night? Was I more exhausted than normal? Strange eating preferences? Could I describe the mood swings?

I just answered them. My guts kept telling me that this was not the normal interrogation for the flu – if I had it in the first place. Dhampirs didn't get sick. Their immune system was perfect. They were never sick. Just like Moroi, common sickness didn't harm them.

Doctor Merovi's questions became more intimate. I got the feeling that this was something more than just the flu. This wasn't going to be pretty.

My whole body tensed when the slow realization dripped in. My eyes widened with shock.

No. That couldn't be it. My whole world, my world that was just perfect, started to jolt.

But Doctor Merovi asked the inevitable.

"When was the last time you were with a Moroi, Rosemarie?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I know my English isn't perfect – it has been a long time since I wrote in English, so my excuses for the bad grammar mistakes.**

 **All I can reveal right now is that Rose won't take the easy road in this story. But that was pretty straightforward, thinking that Rose never does things easy ;)**

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 **Chapter 3**

I just stared at the doctor.

 _When is the last time you've been with a Moroi?_

In my memory, two green eyes looked at me with love, lust and passion. My hands through artfully messy hair, while other hands were fighting to get my jeans off.

My whole body had heated at the feel of his skin and the way his hands had slid over me. I could feel the burning need and desire and sensation and how I'd lost all thought, all reason.

I could feel the feelings that started that night of recklessness. _Love fades_.

Even after all this time, the words still stung. I'd felt so lost at that moment, that I searched for love in the arms of Adrian Ivashkov.

At that time, I didn't regret it. I really did love Adrian Ivashkov. He never gave me up. For him, I was his one true love. I knew that at the time and really believed that together, we had a future. _Love grows._

That night, I was so sure that I did the right thing.

Oh my, I couldn't believe it. I could still hear Adrian say how small the odds were of anything bad happened. I had smiled and agreed with him, kissing him only more passionate, hungry for acceptation. My feelings were sweeping me away and all I could think of was leaving that feeling of betrayal and immense pain behind me.

It had worked. My feelings for Adrian were at that time so strong, that I even now didn't regret my decision. It was the right thing to do.

Until I saw Dimitri the next morning and the realization that he'd gave me up, strung me again.

"Rosemarie?" The doctor called my name.

"Late August," I answered, with a blank voice. "Late August, the night before I got accused of murder."

The doctor didn't say a thing, but I could do the counting. Right now it was begin October, so I was almost six weeks pregnant.

With mechanic movements I began to dress myself.

"Don't say this to another living soul," I said, while I put on back the chequered robe.

"Rosemarie," the doctor began.

"Don't." I looked at him with my coldest glare. "Don't you dare. Like you said, this is confidential information. You're bound by the law of confidentiality and damn right I will make sure you keep it."

The doctor nodded. "I see."

"I will come by next week. I need to think this through. When do all my options run out?" I asked, hoping he would understand what I meant.

"Till the third month."

I nodded, surprised with the thought I had another six weeks to make a decision. A decision that would change my life and world, but still. It was more than I hoped for.

"When do I start to show?" I asked. "Can I still do my training, my Guardian things? How long till I can't fit into my clothes?"

These were all practical questions. I need to make sure that my close circle – especially Dimitri – wouldn't suspect a thing till I figured out what I wanted.

Doctor Merovi answered my questions patiently. "You can still work out and do your job, but be careful during fighting. Women do protect their belly instinctively, but you never know with the opponent. You start to show between the fourth and fifth month. Normally dhampirs don't show that much of a belly. I don't know how it was with your mother, but I believe she kept working until her eight month. "

For the first time since I heard the news, I smiled a little.

"Good. Thank you, doctor. If Dimitri asks something, tell him that it was something from the stress of the shooting accident."

The doctor nodded, clearly obstinate. He didn't liked it that I already had a lie ready to use, let alone that I was willing to lie and considered to get rid of this child.

Who cares about his opinion? He just had to shut up till I've made a decision. And damn, I would make sure he would keep his mouth.

It wasn't his place to judge me about this. I'd had to think what I would do. What'll be my next move? That thought clearly made the doctor uncomfortable. Seeing this as a threat instead of a gift.

It even scared me. How could I be so coldhearted? I just learned I was pregnant, like, five minutes ago, and already I was planning my next move, planning how this wouldn't affect my professional career and image as a Royal Guardian.

God, I looked so like my mother Janine Hathaway. I was disgusted with myself, but I didn't have a choice. This was my life and I was not throwing that away for one night of dimness and regret. A night when I was not responsible for my feelings and actions.

"Goodnight, doctor."

"I will see you soon, Rosemarie. Goodnight."

With another glare I let myself out.

In the hallway, Dimitri was waiting for me.

"Roza, are you okay?"

"Fine," I snapped. I wasn't in the mood for lying. My lips trembled after I realized that I just growled at Dimitri and tears were welling up. Fucking hormones. With anger I recalled that I didn't asked when _that_ would stop. God, I was hating this. I was crying like a crybaby. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

 _Thanks a lot for that, Ivashkov._

"Sorry, Dimitri. I didn't mean that. It's just..." I didn't know what to say.

 _Hey, I'm pregnant at the age of eighteen?_

 _Hey, I'm carrying Adrian Ivashkovs's child?_

 _Hey, guess who will be a daddy?_

Oh God, what did I do? How stupid could I'd been? Gosh, I was way too young for this. I should have stopped. Why on Earth did I trusted Adrian Ivashkov that night? It was like calling the devil for an Holy cause. Adrian Ivashkov and responsibility? Yeah, right, good thinking Rose. Classy.

I should turn around and demand an abortion right away, without thinking. Just like that stupid reckless night when I wasn't thinking either. Just get it over with.

But I knew I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair. I couldn't be that kind of woman. I hated my mother for putting her career on the first line and damn, I would make this good. I would think this through. Now was the time for responsibility, the time to think this through. I had six weeks and I would use them well. No need for hasty decisions.

"What did the doctor say?" Dimitri asked, while he lead me towards my bedroom. Thank God we still had our separate apartments at court, although Dimitri spend more time in my bedroom than in his.

"Euh, just some affects from the shooting, I guess. I don't know, he explained but I just went blank there inside. It should be over within a week or so. And way too much eating."

Dimitri smiled and squeezed my hand while he lead me to my bead. "Nothing too bad than."

"No, nothing too bad," I murmured.

 _Oh, Comrade, you have no idea._

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 **And, what do you guys think? Any opinions on Rose reaction? Her plans for the future? Please let me know!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've worked out the main plot line, so I know exactly where I will go with this story! Thank you all for the lovely reviews!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

The next morning, I woke an hour for sunset. Dawn for vampires.

Dimitri was asleep next to me. His arm was wrapped around my waist and hold me tight against his chest.

I closed my eyes en tried to surrender to the warmth. It was one of the spare moments, where Dimitri and I were just alone in our happy bubble. No Moroi we've had to defend, no Court we've had to worry about. Just two of us.

Well, actually three.

My good mood disappeared as soon it had come. This was just a fantasy. Our happy bubble would never last long. We – and especially I – were born for troubles and problems. It was our job. To protect the Royal Couple – aka know as my best friend Lissa and the most annoying creepy stalker ever Christian. Owkey, I confess, Lissa loved him, but still. Christian was nice and all, but I've had just witnessed too many doo-eyed gazes to be his biggest fan. Ugh.

I wriggled carefully out of Dimitri's arms, trying not to wake him. He was doing this late night shifts and needed his sleep more than I did. And sleeping with me – someone who loved to work out in her sleep and to steal the blanket – was not that conducive.

As silently as I could I sneaked to my walk-in closet. Lissa made sure I'd have one of the biggest apartments available for Guardians. It was too much honor – really, I didn't all that space – but was awesome.

The apartment had three rooms: a small kitchen – barely used, since the cooks were so much better than me - and living room with a TV in it and a lovely leather couch that could provide space for six persons, but mostly it was just me taking up all the space. There was the bedroom with this bigass bed and a lot of cushions and a walk-in closet – Lissa's idea, not mine, connected to a bathroom that was build with marble and had a kind of bubble bath.

Sometimes, working for the Queen wasn't that bad. Not bad at all.

I changed myself into running tights and a gym tank. My hair – that I let grow, as the only Guardian I've known – I bound together in a ponytail. When it was loose, it almost came to my waist.

On the nightstand laid my iPod – a green little thing, that I could clip onto my clothes and was filled with loud pop music. I fumbled with the ears, plugged it in and tied the laces of my sport shoes.

Outside it was still hot from a beautiful autumn day. The forests around the Court were folded in scarlet and gold.

Under my shoes I could hear the leaves crack. The wind stroked my skin in my neck and made my hair fly.

While I forced my body to go faster, following the beat of the music, I remembered how much I hated running when I was in high school. Dimitri, who was my mentor, forced me into doing laps while I just wanted to learn how to fight and kill Strigoi. Oh, and to seduce Dimitri while I damn well knew that it was forbidden. But mostly, during running, I just hated Dimitri.

I smiled. By him forcing me into something I was not familiar with, I discovered how much I loved running.

The beat pumped it my ears and I could feel the chill of the afternoon air on my skin.

During running, I could completely leave my worries behind. Totally lose myself in the music and the aching of my muscles and just run.

After the most adrenaline was out of my body, I slowed down and began searching my way through the woods, making my own path. I knew the forest quite well and wasn't afraid.

My mind was wondering about. I kept thinking about the baby, the child I now carried with me.

I had no idea what I would do. I hated my mother for a long time because she gave me up to the Academy and I always knew I wouldn't do that. It was one of the many reasons I didn't want to have kids.

Could I give this baby up? I knew that if I kept it, that I would raise it as a loving mother. It was all or nothing.

I didn't know what to do. I felt like I should talk to somebody, but whom? I thought about Dimitri, but he couldn't know yet. I had to make this decision first for myself. He would not influence my choice, but would stand by me.

I thought about Adrian. Adrian Ivashkov, the one who kept me sane when I thought I lost Dimitri forever. I brought him back from the land of the death, but Dimitri denied my love and I thought I would drown in the sea of pain.

Adrian had been there for me. Gave me hope on love again. I still could feel his love, although it was a weak reflection of the love I had with Dimitri.

After Lissa had send Dimitri and me on a mission to find Jill, her half-sister, Dimitri had come to his senses that his love for me would never end.

I betrayed Adrian with Dimitri and I didn't feel sorry about it. I've hurt Adrian more than I could possibly imagine.

He said I should talk with him if things with Dimitri would go better, just before I left on mission. I promised I would, but broke my promise as soon as I took off.

When I returned, Adrian and I fought and he left the Court soon after. He could bare to see me happy, knowing I destroyed his happiness.

I didn't realized that I had stopped running. Cold realization hit me right in the face.

Adrian Ivashkov would be a father and there was no way I could reach him. He was the only person I wanted to talk to right know.

I laid my hand against the tree en felt the sweat dripping of my face. I'd run a lot deeper into the forest than I meant to.

My whole body ached and I was satisfied to feel that my body was still healthy and okay, even it carried a little baby inside it.

Adrian. I should see how he was. I hadn't heard for him in weeks. I didn't know where he was, but I felt the need to see him.

I took my cell phone – I always carried it with my during running. Strict orders from Dimitri, who was paranoia when it came to my safety.

 _I need to speak to you asap. In person._

My fingers didn't shiver when I hit the send-button. The response almost followed immediately.

 _Go to sleep, little damphire._

A smile crooked up on my face while I sat against the tree. The moss felt soft against my naked legs and before I closed my eyes, I could see the sunset shining through the trees.


	5. Author's Note

**Hey guys. This is not a chapter, just something I wrote for the people who send me these anonymous reviews. They were questioning these story, accusing me from stealing the idea from other stories.**

 **Well, that is not true. I didn't steal somebody's idea, because I got this idea right after the almost sex scene in Spirit Bound, way before I checked Fanfiction searching for fanfictions about VA. Two people have accused me of stealing somebody's else work. I feel really upset about this, because I know how it feels to see that somebody else steals your work.**

 **This is my story. I know that a lot of people have wondered what would happen if Rose would have Adrian's child and they've written about it. I know, okay? I don't read these stories because I'm afraid that they might influence my story.**

 **One person went attacking me by just accusing me of being new to this site. Well, I'm not new. I had another account (as you can find in my description – with my former account so you can read my other stories as well), but I lost the password and can't remember it. That's why this is my "first" story on this account. It doesn't give anyone the permission just to send me these hate things and to assume that I just stole somebody's stories just because this is my first. It's not and I didn't.**

 **I'm really hurt about this. I just feel like should quit, but I don't want to disappoint you guys. Really, just give me a chance instead of accusing me while you don't even know me.**

 **Oh, and about the title: I just named the story Last Hope because the song "One Last Hope" from the Hercules soundtrack was playing while I was starting this. So it has nothing to do with the story, but I thought it sounded okay. Mostly I get the name for a story in the middle of writing, but yeah, I'm just lazy so I always pick titles like this (or I just go searching in my iTunes for a song that fits the story, but I didn't worked out the plot from this story, so I didn't knew how I should call. Maybe that's another reason why it's called Last Hope)**


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